When I became a mother, I was convinced that my children would never make me upset and that I would be the most patient woman on Earth. Then, I had actual children. To top it off I had all boys. 4 to be exact.The dreams of having more patience than any other human on Earth and the idea that my children would never upset me went out the window. There are times that your children will test your patience to no end, beg and plead with you to eat all day and then decide they don’t like what you cook. There will be days they will test what little patience you have left when given a chance. Then there will be the boymom days where you swear if one more thing gets broken, dirtied, or lost you are just going to cry it out.
Being a parent takes a lot of hard work, effort and a big amount of unconditional love. Being a boy mom just adds a bit more to the work. If you’re faced with the challenges of trying to stay calm during stressful parenthood moments, then you’re going to love this. I am sharing some tips to help you stay calm, practice more patience and find that energy to deal with your children in a positive manner, even when you feel like you can’t take any more pee on the toilet, broken items, fart jokes, or just general childhood angst.
Reduce Stressful Moments
Do anything you can to reduce the stressful moments in the first place. You have learned by now what can create a meltdown for your child. There will be times that your child is acting out due to the environment being overstimulating to them. There will be times that your child is acting out due to being overtired. Try to make your child’s environment stress-free for them and you’ll find the meltdowns occur less. If you see a potential situation redirect before the meltdown. This means less chance of having a stressful parenthood moment.
Change your Attitude
Let go of the idea that your child is out to get you. Many parents will use phrases like, “he’s been winding me up all day” or “he knows how to press my buttons”. Reality is that children aren’t maliciously trying to drive you bonkers. Children are simply being who they are at this stage in their life and sometimes they simply don’t know better, yet. Change your attitude to reflect more of a positive mindset, where you work to change their behavioral patterns versus punishing them. I have found that understanding the why helps me feel less helpless. I am able to appreciate his desire to engage and learn.
Reacting to a stressful parenthood moment will surely leave you open to be a crazy person where you’re yelling, screaming and taking away every privilege known to mankind. This type of scenario will not work to curb your child’s behavior, rather it may make the stressful parenthood moment worse. Practice steps to be proactive when it comes to your child, know the ques for when they’re at their limit and know your ques when you’re at your limit. Pause, do something different and be proactive. This will help you reduce the stress you feel in the moment and help you avoid the situations that cause the most stress.
Find What Helps You Decompress In The Moment
Finding what helps you in a stressful moment is vital. For some it can be breathing and counting to 10 before they respond. Me I would need to get to 100. For a in the moment stress relief essential
oils have been a huge game changer for me.My two favorite companies are Plant Therapy and Young Living. Young Living makes a blend literally called Stress Away and it is amazing. Just a few sniffs and it helps my mindset. Then I found a essential oils recipe called Liquid Zanax. My best friend Katie told me about it and actually made me some. This essential oils synergy literally has helped me through so many stressful situations. I apply to my wrists and right at the bottom of my neck. Here’s the recipe if you want to try it
Liquid Zanax (using Plant Therapy Synergies)
In a 10 ml roller bottle
- 10 drops Worry Free
- 10 drops Self Esteem
- Carrier Oil ( coconut or jojoba are my favorite)
- Mix and apply. My friend made me a roller bottle and 2 weeks later its still mostly full and I use it multiple times a day
If you want to make your own blend you can buy individual oils to create your synergies
- 15 drops Lavender
- 10 drops Majoram
- 8 drops Ylang Ylang
- 7 drops Sandlewood
- 5 drops Vanilla
- 5 drops Roman Chamomille
- 15 drops Spruce
- 15 drops Ho wood
- 10 drops Blue Tansey
- 10 drops Frankincense
I have had equally great results with Young Living Stress Away and the Liquid Zanax recipe but Plant Therapy tends to be a little friendlier to my hubby’s wallet.
Find Something That Helps You Decompress Long Term
Find a hobby. Something that allows you to relax and recover yourself. This will allow you to start each day if not relaxed at least calm. For me I paint.
I paint alot lol. I enjoy paint nights with my friends and I paint by myself. It allows me to focus on something other than the day to day annoyances.Having that outlet helps me mentally be ready to deal with stress. I also make sure to touch base with a friend every few days to just say hey and realize I’m not alone in this parenting thing. Having a outlet allows me to approach life in a much more positive manner. This allows me to react in a less upset manner when parenthood situations arise.
Get Plenty of Sleep
Lastly, you will want to make sure that you’re getting ample sleep each night. You must have a dedicated bedtime and wake up time for yourself that’s on a regular pattern. When you, as the parent, have a bedtime and get plenty of sleep, you’ll quickly find that you have more patience and are better able to stay calm during stressful parenthood moments. You will need to make sleep a priority in order for this to happen, so be certain to put your sleep pattern as much of a priority as your children.
There you have it, a few ways you can work to stay calm during stressful parenthood moments. Remember to change your mind set, be proactive, find what helps, utilize essential oils if they help, and get plenty of sleep. At the end of the day, you must remember that you’re in charge and these little human beings are not here to drive you bonkers. These children love you and desire nothing more than to have your unconditional love, yes even during stressful parenthood moments.