Have you ever been that mom? The mom standing in the store as her child loses their cool. They are having a temper tantrum and you feel as though all eyes are on you. I remember being that mom and trying to get my son to stop by yelling, coddling, basically begging and then one day I realized all of that just did not work so I decided to change my approach.
My goal was to figure out how to stop frequent temper tantrums. I wanted to be able to enjoy being a mom. But all the outbursts had me frustrated and I found yelling did nothing to ease the frustration. I needed to know how to stop temper tantrums without yelling. It took some time because my youngest was very easily triggered but once I learned his cues I’m pleased to say the amount of temper tantrums has dwindled and with it my frustration lessened and the yelling eased. Here’s what I did.
Common Reasons For Tantrums
Children are young so do not have the life experience to be able to express how they feel. Because of this they may resort to a tantrum to try to get out whatever big feeling they are feeling. Take a moment and evaluate the circumstances. Figuring out the why is the best way to prevent a future tantrum. Here are some common reasons tempter tantrums may occur.
- Need your attention
- Just Because
Quick Fixes to Common Tantrums
- Tired My guy would have a fit around 4pm every single day. Once I realized this I was able to see he was just flat out tired. I started giving him quiet time around 3. He is not a napper so I don’t force him to sleep but he does have to sit and rest quietly watching tv or looking at a book. This has stopped the 4pm tantrum because it gives his mind and body time to recharge.
- Hungry Have you ever heard the term Hangry? Its a mix of hungry and angry. I know as a adult when I’m hungry or my sugar gets low I get hangry. Imagine being a kiddo and you rely on someone else for your food. I like to keep healthy snacks on hand for my son so if it is close to snack time he has options for me to offer him. One of his favorites is a Truth Bar. They are healthy, delicious, and packed with hungry cutting protein. I keep them in my purse for if we are out and about and he needs a snack. They are also yummy enough I eat them sometimes especially the coconut or almond crunch.
- Need your attention It can be very frustrating to be trying to get someones attention and not be successful. My sons would get more and more agitated if I did not respond. I implemented a way for them to let me know if what they had to say was important. If I was talking they were to come touch my elbow or hold my hand. I would then touch their hand to let them know I understood they needed to speak to me. This simple acknowledgement went a long way to curbing their impatience. They knew that as soon as I finished my sentence I would say excuse me to whoever I was speaking to and then ask them what they needed.
- Bored Boredom can make a child more prone to mischief or frustration. Children move and have fun so having nothing to do can trigger a tantrum. I’m not saying children need 24hr entertainment but some sort of stimulation can help. One of my favorite things is busy bags. You can make it at home. Just include easy travel size games, coloring pages, sensory objects in a bag. When your kiddo is bored they can easily take something out and enjoy.
- Just Because And then there is the just because tantrum. Sometimes just like adults children can have a tantrum just because. There can be no reason and no quick fix except to let it ride out. I call this the just pray they wear themselves out tantrum. Being in a safe place is the best solution. I also recommend chocolate, wine, or anything else to sooth the tired mama soul. I consoled him the best I could then self cared with some coffee and chocolate.
Finding out why your kiddo is having a tantrum is important to prevent them. If you can prevent them you will be less frustrated and less prone to yelling when it does happen.