Every year I choose a word that I am going to use to shape my year. This year I chose the word Forgiveness. I choose to forgive the moments that I break down and just need peace. I choose to forgive the moments I’m just too tired. It is not just forgiving others for what they have done to me its forgiving myself for not being perfect.
As moms we all want to be perfect. Someone our kids look up to. But guess what we are only human and are not perfect. Forgiving ourselves for our moments, our failures, and our imperfections is the first step to banishing the mom guilt. So as I start my year of 2019 I am going to take the word forgiveness with me and make sure I do not let the mom guilt hold me back.
There are times I sit all all grown up looking at the piles of laundry, the dishes in the sink, and the list of things my kids want to do and I’m wondering am I failing at this mom thing. And of course that’s when the mom guilt hits. It can eat away at you but if you choose to recognize your imperfections and forgive yourself of them the mom guilt holds no power over you.
You know what mom guilt is right. The feeling that you are doing nothing right. Th questions of do you got this or are you still 10 yrs old playing Barbie pretending you got this. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids. My 4 boys and my husband are my life. But I have a toddler who doesn’t stop, a future NFL player, a preteen who has decided clean clothes and deodorant are optional, and a teen who is blessed to be smarter than every other single person in the world (or so he thinks). It is is nothing like I pretended when I played with my dolls or when Barbie married Ken. This is real life and its hard.
There are times I know I’m the worlds worst mom because
- I hide in the closet to eat my snacks undisturbed
- Snacks may be hidden in my closet so when I’m hiding from my children I have nourishment
- I totally let the TV or tablet babysit because I just want to pee alone or take a bath
- My children may have cereal for dinner or something equally unhealthy but easy
- I think pie is a acceptable dinner or breakfast every now and then because YOLO
But you know what despite those feelings of guilt I also know I love my children. I know that even though I feel guilty that too shall pass and once again I will rock this mom thing. I may be the most messy, tired, overworked person alive but I am also the most important person in my sons eyes.
What’s A Mom
Being a mother means not letting the guilt get to you when you just need a minute to yourself and it means not sweating the small stuff. Its when your biracial kiddo gets in your makeup which is clearly 5 shades darker than him and you ask him if he did he looks at you with these huge eyes and tells you he loves you because your the best mom ever. Yea I got played but hey I was the best mom ever.
Being a mother is making sure your children know you love them. Its knowing that even though there will be mom fail moments and there will be times you feel mom guilt as long as you love your children and do your best you are rocking being a mom. Its tell mom guilt nope because the reality is you as a rocking mom deserve that snack in the closet, deserve to pee alone, and deserve a nap every now and then.
So I may not be supermom, I may not even be supermoms sidekick but in the eyes of my kiddo with lipstick on his face and my pressed powder smeared all over him I’m the best mom ever and you know what Ill take it. Ill hold my head high if I ever have the energy and Ill tell myself you got this because you are the best mom ever and when the guilt hits I’ll tell it to move along because no matter what I Forgive myself for not being perfect. I love my children, they are healthy, happy, loved and that’s what matters.