Being agreeable is not a bad thing. It means you care about others and try to be a empathetic person. Being too agreeable is where the problem arises. You can be agreeable and still realize it is perfectly ok to say no.The word no is a complete sentence. It doesn’t need expanding and it doesn’t need an explanation. Alot of times people will try to change the no or try to make you feel guilty. It is perfectly acceptable to say no, mean it, and realize this does not make you a bad person.
Signs You Are To Agreeable
Being agreeable is not a bad thing. It only becomes a issue when you are too agreeable. Here are some things to ask yourself to find out if you may be to agreeable
- Do you let things go even ? If someone has hurt you and you just let it go without settling the issue you may be too agreeable. This does not mean keep a fight going. It means express how you feel and see what can be done for you both to move on. If they are not willing to work at the relationship it may be time to say no to the relationship
- Do you give of your time when you don’t have the time? It is not bad to give of yourself as long as your are maintaining your responsibilities. If you are so busy doing for others that you are neglecting yourself, your family, or your responsibilities it may be time to start saying no.
- Do you agree with opinions that do not coincide with your beliefs? If you agree to a opinion that you don’t agree with you may be too agreeable. Just because someone says something and you don’t agree does not make you a bad person. To agree with them means you are setting aside your values, morals, and beliefs. If you ind yourself doing this it may be time to say no and let them know that you do not approve.
- Do you find yourself stressed but still saying yes? If you are stressed and overwhelmed but still say yes it is a good sign you are too agreeable. Saying yes should not be a burden.
You need to recognize you are important and so is your mental and emotional health. It is ok to say no to ensure your mental and emotional health.
Why Saying No Is Ok
You Are Important
Giving of yourself is beautiful and loving. However there may be times that it is just not possible. You need to recognize your limits and recognize that your time and well being is important. If saying no means your mental and emotional health then say no and do not feel guilty. There are times it will be vital for you to say no
- You are tired. Rest is important to your mental and physical health. If you are tired saying no may mean you have the time to get the rest that you need.
- You are just saying yes to please someone. Sometimes it is ok to say yes just to make someone happy. However, do not make this a habit. Always putting your needs or desires on the back burner can be mentally exhausting
- You are uncomfortable. If saying yes will put you in a uncomfortable position then just say no. If you truly feel as though it would be uncomfortable then your mental health is more important than saying yes.
- When you just don’t have the time. If you already have commitments and try to cram more in you may drop the ball on one or more thing. If you do not have the time say no and focus on what you already committed to.
- Because you just don’t want to. There may be times you just don’t want to do something. Say no and mean it. You are important and it’s ok not to say yes to everything.
You Can Not Control What People Think of You
People are going to judge you and form their own opinions. It is not your job to worry about what they think of you. You can not control this. It is perfectly fine to accept what people think about you because at the end of the day what they think is not what is important. No matter how many times you say yes they will still have their thoughts when you say no. Instead of worrying about what they think about you spend time worrying about how you feel about yourself. Do not say yes to anything that will change the positive you feel about yourself or will affect who you are trying to be.
Setting Boundaries Defines How You Respect Yourself
Not agreeing to things that are against your values will make you respect yourself. Saying no and only accepting what is appropriate for you will help you validate yourself and your values. If you can respect yourself and validate your beliefs then others will also. That does not mean there will not be some who do not respect you or do not try to wear your no down. This is a quick way to see who deserves to be in your life. Real people who care about you will not only accept your no but they will respect you for it.
Saying no is perfectly acceptable. As stated before no is a complete sentence. It does not need expanding or explanation. Being agreeable and helpful is a great thing but if you can not do something then it is ok to say no. Putting your mental, physical, and emotional health first is vital to be you being the best you that you can be.