Raising a confident son isn’t as easy as it sounds. Sons go through many hormonal and puberty changes just like daughters do. When it comes to helping your son gain confidence there are a few things you can do to help him along in this path of having higher self-esteem. Today I’m featuring my top 5 ways to help your son gain confidence.
I am including phrases that will help in this self esteem raising journey. They will assist in boosting confidence without going overboard. There is a fine line between self confidence and arrogant and you do not want to push your son over that line. Being self assured without being too much is the key.
Look for Opportunities to Compliment
If your son struggles with schoolwork or tasks that other kids can do easier, it’s time to look for opportunities to compliment your son. Figure out where your son’s strengths are and compliment him on his accomplishments. You can then take this one step further and encourage him to do something outside of his comfort zone while giving compliments for every successful step towards that new goal.
Try not to generically compliment or it will seem less sincere. There are certain phrases I like to use with my sons because they seem to stick more than saying good job. Listed below are a few that really seem to perk my boys up.
- How did you do that?
- That was awesome! Tell me all about it
- You made me proud
- I could see you tried your very hardest and I am proud of your effort
Challenge Your Son
As I just said, try to encourage your son to do things outside of his comfort zone, complimenting him as he successfully does something new. Giving your son a challenge that’s within his capabilities, you’ll know best what that is, will help him gain more confidence. Your son will start to see that he can do bigger and better things than he currently is doing in his life.
When challenging my sons these are my go to motivational phrases
- I believe in you
- You are capable of doing hard things
- Sometimes new seems scary but it can also be exciting
- This seemed to get your attention why don’t we learn more about it
- Want to try something crazy
Emphasize Different, not Better
Every human being has their own strengths and weaknesses, be sure to define this as being different, not better. Teaching your son to appreciate his strengths while being able to recognize his weaknesses will help him gain more confidence. This is a good character building technique that will encourage your son to be confident in personal growth and accepting who he is through his entire life. Below are a few phrases I use to acknowledge my sons strengths.
- I love how you ……
- You are brave
- Let’s try it your way
- What do you think is best
- I like how you thought that through and made it your own
Boys are often told to toughen up or to not cry, crying is often seen as a bad thing for boys. While you do want to raise a confident son who is strong and doesn’t cry over everything, it’s important that you discuss feelings. This will help your son gain confidence in the area of recognizing his own feelings as it pertains to various situations and express those feelings with confidence.
- I’m so proud how much you feel
- You are strong and brave
- How did that make you feel
- You’re feelings are important
- I like how you explained that
Watch Your Words
A common conception on boys is that they should be strong. Girls are shown as needing sympathy and soft words.I have found that with my sons when I am speaking to them watching my words can be important. They respond more to words that do not directly criticize them but rather help them learn and change if needed. With all my boys giving them the option of fixing it can make a huge difference in how they respond to a situation.Here are a few phrases I use.
- That didn’t seem to work out how you wanted. What could you do to change the outcome
- You made a mistake how can you fix it?
- We all make mistakes. I’m sure you learned from yours.
- I still love you no matter what
- Tomorrow is a new day
I hope that you’ve enjoyed my tips and phrases on how to help your son gain confidence. Hopefully you will use these to inspire your son to have higher self-esteem going into the real world. There are many small ways you can work towards helping your son gain confidence. The biggest step is to have a chat about strengths and weaknesses and then do all of that magical work of being a parent who guides and encourages their son to grow stronger and confident every day .