New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

A few times on Facebook I have seen people post for their friends to leave one word for them to carry into the new year. I decided to jump on the bandwagon. The word that has been chosen for me is Becoming. And honestly, with the goals I have set for the New Year, this word is perfect. This year I am becoming the wife, mother, friend, and person I know I can be.

Wife

I love my husband more than anything.

New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!      New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

We have been together thru him finding and losing his father, me losing my mom, a stillborn, and 4 miscarriages. We adopted 2 children one of which has severe mental health issues. So we have endured police visits, CPS investigations, psychiatrists, group therapy, him being inpatient in mental health facilities and pretty much everything else that comes along with a mental health diagnosis. We have been together when my husband was in a car wreck causing irreparable brain damage. He is alive and functioning and if you didn’t know him before you would never realize that his thought process is slower and that him struggling with minor depression is a new thing. I love him but I plan on becoming a better wife. I have always supported him and always been there but on reflection, I feel I need to become more.

My Wife Plan

  • More one on one time. We are parents so let’s face it a lot of our time is dedicated to our children. I plan to change this. Every morning we will read 1 scripture together before we start our day and say a prayer together. I will make sure in the evening to get the children to bed on time so that we can have 1 hr to watch tv or just sit and be together. Also, a bi-weekly date night even if it’s just to the grocery store by ourselves.
  • An I love you jar. I saw this idea on Facebook. Basically, it is an empty jar where you put reasons why you love them. At any time they can pull a reason out the jar for a reminder
  • Expressing how I feel. I’m not an expressive person. My husband is very sentimental and enjoys affection. I like affection but I am not sentimental. I plan to leave my comfort zone and try to speak his love language more. Recently I ordered an I Love you book. It lets you customize it and you can list why you love someone. He got more a kick out of the effort I made than the actual book so I’ll call it a win

New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!   New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!  New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

  • A friend gave me an idea. I think I am a great wife but what matters is what my Adam thinks. So I took her advice and I asked him to do a project with me. Each of us wrote down 5 things we want to change about ourselves, 5 things we would like to see the other person work on, and 5 things we will work on together. Each week we will pick one thing to work on together. Then we will pick one from the other 2 lists without telling what it is. At the end of the week, we will see if the other person could tell what we were working on. If they can then obviously it was a success.

Mother

I love my children. I really do but I know there are things I need to change as a mother.They need to grow up feeling secure, loved, and independent. Heres my planNew Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

  • Letting my yes mean yes and my no mean no. Usually, I am good at this but I have noticed the kids have started trying to bargain. This needs to stop. If they lose a privilege they need to lose it. All of them are old enough to know rules and consequences and in real life, you don’t get to wash the baseboards to get your job back.
  • More quality family time. We spend a lot of time together but most of it is at children’s activities, the drive-in, or watching tv. I plan to unplug quality time. There will be more board games, more hikes, and more family things where us interacting and talking is a part of it.
  • Family study. We are a religious family. I plan to make sure we do our family study, make it to all our meetings, go out in service, and pray together.
  • Celebrating their strengths. Each of my children is different. I know my 10 yr old is a straight A student, plays football, and excels at what he puts his mind to. I know my 15 yr old is an artist but struggles to connect to people. It is time for me to celebrate them and not compare or expect the same from each of them.
  • Giving more individualized time. We do a lot as a family. I want to start setting time for each child to spend with the hubby and I on a 1 on 1 basis so that they see their importance to us as individuals.

Friend

I have amazing friends. The kind that has my back always and I know I could say I need you and they would be there no questions asked. I call them my sisters because that’s what they are to me. Their kids are my nieces and nephews and their spouses I consider my brothers. It’s time I let them know how much I value them.

  • Setting more plans. We always say we are going to hang out but then life gets in the way. I am going to ensure I make time for them and life. My goal is one friend day, evening, time together per month if not more.
  • They text all the time. Make sure I reply. I’m terrible at replying but I’m changing that.

Person

I’m a good person. Sometimes too good. I have been hurt and taken advantage of and made to feel stupid many times. I don’t think that’s a bad thing on my part but I do think its time I took back me.

  • Realize who my friends are. I try to be friends with everyone. I feel everyone deserves a chance. Some people I have given too many chances and others I have tried too hard to be what they wanted me to be. NO MORE. It’s not about being selfish or about being mean. It’s about valuing myself and loving me how I am. I know there is room for growth but I will no longer try to adapt to who I think someone wants me to be. They can love me for me or they don’t need to be around me. My true friends, my family love who I am. They see my strengths they know my faults and they accept them. They help me grow in a positive way and don’t expect me to pretend.
  • Self-Care. I spend so much time helping others that sometimes I run on empty. I need to take time for me. This could be reading a book, going to paint night, or taking a nap. Recently I started wearing makeup and you know what I feel ten times better. I was pretty before but now I feel sexy! Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I cant be sexy. I am taking back me even if it’s in yoga pants and a tank top my face and hair are da bomb!!

New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!  New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!  New Year New Goals! PT 3. What I take into this New Year!!

  • Saying No and not feeling bad. I have the right to say no. I usually try to work it out for everyone even if it stresses me. Its time I learn to say no, mean it, and not feel guilty.

Becoming

My word for this year is becoming. I will become the wife, mom, friend, and person I know I can be. It may be hard and there may be times I slide back but guess what I got this!!! What are your goals for this year?? Drop a comment I’d love to hear from you.

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36 Comments

  1. Jay Colby
    January 1, 2018 / 8:19 pm

    Great post! I’ve always been a favor of writing down my goals for each year.

  2. January 1, 2018 / 8:49 pm

    Becoming is a nice and strong word. Full of endless possibilities. I like the way you have chosen to become! Have a great year!

  3. January 2, 2018 / 2:12 am

    Oh my goodness, I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. I had to laugh at the not replying to texts thing. I too am so bad at this. I think I reply in my head but never get around to actually typing and sending, lol! It’s awful. Great goals for this year!

  4. Diana
    January 2, 2018 / 4:35 am

    Great post! I’ve always been writing down my goals for each year.

  5. January 2, 2018 / 6:57 am

    I totally agree with what you said. These goals are so amazing! Thanks for sharing this.

  6. January 2, 2018 / 2:13 pm

    Your word for this year is great and with all that you have gone through, you truly deserve to become who you really want to be and you shall, I wish you all the best and blessing to you and your family, may you become what you wish for in 2018.

  7. January 2, 2018 / 2:58 pm

    Thank you for your inspiring – I celebrate you for embracing all that you’ve come to be. Your family life and soul is blessed because of your wise choice this year! Many love, light and blessings to you and your sweet kiddos <3

  8. January 2, 2018 / 5:41 pm

    Girl, you are on fire. Reading scriptures each morning is so good for the soul. I agree with you, we need to remember to take care of our marriages first and this can be tricky with kids. Best of luck to you this year, I can tell you are a great woman, wife and mother.

  9. Aditi
    January 2, 2018 / 6:42 pm

    Wow.. your goals are inspirational! I love the way you have defined them so well, and that too categorically. Here’s hoping you have a fabulous new year. Cheers!!

  10. Claudia Krusch
    January 2, 2018 / 7:14 pm

    I think this is a fantastic set of goals. I am always trying to be a better Wife and Mother. We should always strive to be better.

  11. January 2, 2018 / 7:15 pm

    I just love your goals! You picked some great ones. Mine are pretty similar. I rarely make resolutions, but I like the idea of goals. I always try to be a good person and mother.

  12. Nawal Aharrass
    January 2, 2018 / 7:43 pm

    I love this post! I hope truly that your family and your friends appreciate you and take in consideration the effort that you are making to make your relationship better! Happy new year and I hope you achieve your goals, from the bottom of my heart.

  13. January 2, 2018 / 8:25 pm

    Not replying to texts is one of my need to improve areas, but i swear that I am working on it:) I like the breakdown of the various arenas. It is hard to manage sometimes but it can be down.

  14. January 2, 2018 / 8:52 pm

    These are all wonderful goals for any new year! I know I could benefit from them as well, especially the relationship parts!

  15. Lisa Rios
    January 2, 2018 / 11:33 pm

    These are all wonderful goals to have. I admire how strong you are and hope you have a blessed 2018. Happy New Year!

  16. January 3, 2018 / 12:27 am

    I loved how your word was ‘becoming’ and the roles that you take on show a lot about who you are as a person. Someone who loves her children and husband and has a warm and kind heart!

  17. January 3, 2018 / 12:48 am

    Oh my, your kids are so adorable! Look just like you and your husband, and there is so much love.

  18. January 3, 2018 / 4:10 am

    What a heartfelt post. You have been through a lot and I admire you for overcoming everything. That project is a good way to start the year right as well. Cheers to a positive and good 2018!

  19. Britney Kaufman
    January 3, 2018 / 4:50 am

    This is so sweet! Your kids are adorable, and I love your wife plan! I’m trying to do more for my marriage this year too.

  20. January 3, 2018 / 5:32 am

    These are all excellent goals! I am striving to be a better wife, friend, and daughter this year personally.

  21. January 3, 2018 / 8:55 am

    Becoming is a nice and strong word. Full of endless possibilities. I like the way you have chosen to become! Have a great year!

  22. January 3, 2018 / 10:15 am

    You have a well thought out, thorough list of goals! I wish you and your family the best in this new year!

  23. LavandaMichelle
    January 3, 2018 / 10:17 am

    You have a beautiful family and I love your goals. Mine are similar and I love the ideas of a love jar. I might have to start one also. Thanks for sharing such a lovely part of you.

  24. January 3, 2018 / 1:02 pm

    Good post! I love writing down my goals for the year. I usually get back to it after few months to see my progress.

  25. Rosey
    January 3, 2018 / 1:42 pm

    I love that you have each other to get through the good and bad. It’s nice when you find time to spend one one one. It’s hard, but worth it. Good luck with your goals. There’s only one outcome for the ones you’ve made and that is even more awesomeness added to what is already your awesome sounding marriage. 🙂

  26. January 3, 2018 / 3:31 pm

    I love how you’ve broken down your goals based on your roles. Sometimes we forget how hard it can be to balance everything we have on our plate.

  27. Kiwi
    January 3, 2018 / 9:01 pm

    I love that your word for this year is becoming. So by the time 2018 is over you will be You Are (I Am).

  28. Savannah Pham
    January 4, 2018 / 12:46 am

    I was just on Facebook and saw someone post something similar to this. The way you put “becoming” into context was powerful. I’m sure you’re already a wonderful mother, wife, and friend but I guess there’s always room for growth and experiences. It’s going to be a challenge but whether you succeed or not.. your family and friends will STILL love you! I believe in you.

  29. January 4, 2018 / 1:21 am

    Wow! you got a lovely family! your kids are really adorable, they are so cute. I was touched by your words when you tackle about your motherhood, I just remembered my mom as well. When I was little I didn’t see any struggles that my mother and father went through til I came to the right age and there I realized how hard for them to raise 5 children I was devatated and as much as possible I want to help them. For now your kids won’t understand yet all your hardship but in the end I’m sure they’ll be there beside you supporting and loving you unconditionally.

  30. January 4, 2018 / 5:36 am

    I have been hearing about this word of the year everywhere. I am not sure if I can put the whole lot of things into a word. What word would I be.

  31. January 4, 2018 / 10:21 pm

    I have not written my 2018 goals just yet… but I plan too! Many of the goals you listed are ones I’d like to make as well.

  32. January 4, 2018 / 11:31 pm

    I love the one word of the year. I have been doing it for 5 years now. My word for this year is Expectation.

  33. Siti Aana
    January 5, 2018 / 8:29 am

    Great ideas for setting goals. Thoroughly enjoyed your post ❤

  34. January 7, 2018 / 4:18 pm

    Good ppl tend to get taken advantage of which is so unfortunate but God sees good works! 😊

  35. January 9, 2018 / 2:12 am

    Wow.. your goals are inspirational! I love the way you have defined them so well.Hoping you have a fabulous new year. Have a great year!!

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