How People Treat You: Its Ok. It always was.

The other evening my son was telling me about how a group of kids were making fun of a child and when my son told them to stop they began to make fun of him. I listened to him talk and the more he told me the more upset I got. I told him he did not have to let people speak to him that and that he needed to stand up for himself. His words to me were Mom its ok. Jesus died for us He let people kill him. In the end, it doesn’t matter what those kids said or did. I would rather them make fun of me and not care than for them to make my friend cry.Words of wisdom from a 10 yr old.

Later I cried at the hurt my son must have felt. I raged inside that these little hoodlums could have said such hateful things to my child. I raged that the things he told me they said he didn’t even know how awful they were. I was hurt and I was angry. I wondered did I not instill in him his self-worth, or was he afraid of the other children. And the more I thought about it the angrier I felt.

I woke up the next day still angry. When my son asked me why I was upset I explained how I felt hurt for him and mad that he had been treated that way. His reply was But why? I told him no one has the right to treat him that way. Once again my son says Mom Its ok. Their words don’t matter. If they had hit me or tried to hurt me I would have done something but their words don’t hurt me.  Looking at him I realized in his mind and heart it really was ok. So I took my coffee out on our patio and I sat and I thought about it.

After a lot and I  mean a lot of thinking I realized it really was Ok. My son so eloquently explained and made me realize, Jesus went thru so much more. Historical figures went thru so much more. There are people every day that go thru so much more. My son understood that kids saying mean things while wrong has no bearing whatsoever on who he is, what he wants to be, or how he lives his life. Those words meant nothing to him. He was more concerned with making sure his friend did not feel hurt.

The words they spoke to him didn’t affect him because his goal of deflecting their meanness from his friend had been accomplished. So while they spit hate at him, in his mind and heart he was victorious. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the other kids or that he lacked self-confidence. It was because he has so much self-confidence their words literally meant nothing to him. I realized my son had a strength inside him that was bigger than I knew.

Sitting and thinking I realized it really is ok. I’m an adult and I’ve had people say I need to stand up for myself. I How People Treat You: Its Ok. It always was.  realize that sometimes yes I certainly do but other times it really is ok. They don’t define who I am or how my life will be. In the long run they make little to no difference in my life.

I can choose to have the inner strength to walk away.To know at the end of the day their opinion of me doesn’t matter even a little bit. It doesn’t make me afraid of them. It doesn’t make me weak. I can only become angry if I allow them to make me angry. To allow someone to steal even a moment of my happiness or my inner peace isn’t worth the heartache. Even if they don’t realize it allowing them to affect my day gives them a victory.

People can only affect you as much as you allow them. So next time I’m being mistreated I’m going to think of my son. I’m going to be stronger and know that their words are only that, words. They do not define who I am. I define who I am. So from here on out, I will just think Its ok….. It always was ok. I just needed to realize it.

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25 Comments

  1. Star
    November 18, 2017 / 1:22 pm

    This makes me want to hug him! What a great kid!

  2. November 18, 2017 / 10:26 pm

    Very interesting post share.

    • instantfamilyofsix
      November 19, 2017 / 2:38 pm

      I have to admit that I think my children teach me more than I can ever teach them! I loved what you shared at the end. We define ourselves and should not allow others to diminish that!

  3. November 19, 2017 / 11:42 am

    that is so sweet! great write up!

  4. November 19, 2017 / 2:10 pm

    This is such a great read, shows you how children really know the easiest way to look at life while we struggle to make things difficult for ourselves when all we need to do is say it’s okay and turn the other cheek.

  5. November 19, 2017 / 5:54 pm

    Such a smart guy! I am still struggling with what he has already mastered!! Well done mama.

  6. cupcake1007
    November 19, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    I hate that kids have said such mean things to your guy. It really is infuriating that parents don’t discourage the behavior more. Hugs. I would feel the same way.

  7. Jen Walker
    November 19, 2017 / 8:23 pm

    Your son is so strong to realize that words don’t actually hurt, no matter what toll they may take on our mental health. As a mom, we always want to protect our babies, and it looks like he has a great head on his shoulders.

  8. November 19, 2017 / 10:03 pm

    I love your post. Your son is such a great person. May the Lord continue to watch over and bless you guys. Thanks for sharing.

  9. November 20, 2017 / 5:53 am

    He’s such a nice guy! I really want to give him thanks and praise.

  10. November 20, 2017 / 6:29 am

    Nice to read such thing like this. Great job right here!

  11. November 20, 2017 / 6:41 am

    This is something I have to frequently remind myself of. People can be mean and it can be hard to block out peoples opinions of us whether it is right or wrong.

  12. November 20, 2017 / 7:17 am

    Wow.. Your son is so mature and evolved in his thoughts. It’s actually absolutely ok for people to see you in a certain way or treat you in a particular way. It’s time to face the naysayers and emerge braver than ever! Cheers!!

  13. November 20, 2017 / 8:31 am

    Aww you obviously raised him with a good and strong knowledge of his self worth!! Don’t doubt yourself, mama. What a bright little boy! I am so glad those awful kids didn’t ruin his day, but don’t let them have that power over you either. He handled the situation with aplomb and wasn’t only your hero but that other boy’s hero whom he defended! be very proud!! good job!

  14. November 20, 2017 / 5:36 pm

    It is amazing how much kids can teach us parents and how they are able to see the goodness in people when they are feeling hurt. Good for you for raising an awesome kid!

  15. redrebelmediagroup
    November 21, 2017 / 5:30 am

    LOVE the thought that Jesus LET people kill him – we all know that, but sometimes you just need to hear it! None the less, you are a Mom and it’s hard when people are hurtful to our little ones. Keep up the good work!

  16. audriaallred
    November 21, 2017 / 1:19 pm

    It sounds to me like your son has an amazing gift of being a peace maker! My mom always told me that most of the time being the peace maker is better in the long run, and it has been. I would be a proud momma. you go!

  17. Madhu
    November 21, 2017 / 9:32 pm

    Wow!!! Such composed 10 Year old!!!

  18. November 22, 2017 / 6:08 pm

    That is such a mature way to deal with things. Wise words from a young kid.

  19. November 22, 2017 / 6:14 pm

    I learn lessons from my children daily. This is an adorable post!!!

  20. November 23, 2017 / 6:22 am

    Wow!!! What so beautiful wisdom from your son. These words will always stick in my head now because my reaction would have been the same as yours. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and more importantly the your sons thoughts.

  21. November 26, 2017 / 10:28 am

    Sometimes the hardest thing about being a parent is when we have to take a back seat and simply listen. What a sweet kiddo.

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